This is just the beginning....

I am brand new to this whole blogging thing so bear with me.

There will be lots of posting here as there have been so many changes going on in my life right now. I'm sure that whoever is reading this, that they just cannot wait for the next installment! It's difficult to even pick out the perfect place to start but I'll do my best to give it a shot.

Some of my closest friends think that I should be writing a movie for the Lifetime channel instead of this blog - yes that's how insane my life has been. I wake up in the morning and consciously think to myself is this reality or just a really horrifying dream?? Oh it's real alright!

In 2007, I've experienced a significant amount of loss in every sense of the word but I've gained so much strength, perspective, wisdom, and experienced realizations that I wouldn't have had if it had not been for all of the tragedy and hardships. I'm not quite ready to discuss all of the traumatic turmoil that has occurred but I can say this - I am truly grateful for my close friends and family and I now have a new, deep appreciation for who they are and what they represent in my life. My friends come from all over the world, different walks of life, and are each their own individual treasures. I continue to have a very close relationship with my parents and younger brother as well and I know that they love me completely but the part that I enjoy the most about our relationship is that I know that they truly like the person that I've become. Regardless of all my mistakes and bad decisions - they take me as I am and support me in all that I do. Not only do I cherish my relationship with them, I respect it.

Even growing up, I knew that friends and family were always important because that's just a part of who I am but I never realized the sheer magnitude of the power of pure friendship and unconditional love. By that I mean, I didn't know that I would need them so much and I didn't know that they would need me. I consider myself to have tremendous inner strength just given the path that has lead me here to where I am today and all that I've endured, but what I didn't understand until now is that even the strongest of the strong need friends, real friends to carry them through. There were countless times where I desperately needed a distraction from all of the insanity or just some down time to laugh and be silly and without hesitation they were right there at the drop of a dime. When I felt like crumbling they reminded me of my worth, to NEVER give up and I remembered why I was close to those that were in my life when all the chips seemed to be down all at the same time. I've gone through some disappointing moments in my life this past year but I've also seen the goodness and generosity in those that I hold so close to my heart. So I will focus on what I do have and continue to be thankful for it, without looking back, keeping my head on straight and knowing that I am going to be ok.